'Pushy' Parents, Good or Bad?

Building Optimal Support Relationships

by Paul Dent

So what is pushy? Being pushy is often connected to providing outside motivation to your child. The phrase ‘pushy parent’ unfortunately has a stigma attached to it. Appearing synonymous with other words or phrases such as ‘over involved’, demanding, controlling, manipulative, intense and abnormally keen. There is a fine line between pushing too much and not pushing enough. So can pushing be good? The answer to that, lies in what is being pushed and why.

Pushing What?

Sport can be used as a vehicle for ‘life skills’. Skills and characteristics such as valuing effort, honouring commitment, and persistence immediately spring to mind. Dan Gould a well-known North American sports psychologist conducted a study on Olympians and their parents. In it he noted:

‘At the same time, parents emphasised the attitude, “if you are going to do it, do it right”. They also modelled a hard work ethic, held high (but reasonable) expectations and standards for their child, emphasised a stick to it and follow through on commitments attitude’

In the same study Gould concluded:

‘The importance of not pressurising athletes to win early in their careers but to teach values such as hard work, optimism and a “can do attitude” seem paramount’

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